Confession
by Alexander Pushkin
I love you, though I rage at it,
Though it is shame and toil misguided,
And to my folly self-derided
Here at your feet I will admit!
It ill befits my years, my station,
Good sense has long been overdue!
And yet, by every indication,
Love's plague has stricken me anew:
You're out of sight, I fall to yawning;
You're here, I suffer and feel blue,
And barely keep myself from owning,
Dear elf, how much I care for you!
Why, when your guileless girlish chatter
Drifts from next door, your airy tread,
Your rustling dress, my senses scatter
And I completely lose my head.
You smile, I flush with exaltation;
You turn away, I'm plunged in gloom;
Your pallid hand is compensation
For a whole day of fancied doom.
When to the frame with artless motion
You bend to cross-stitch, all devotion,
Your eyes and ringlets down-beguiled,
My heart goes out in mute emotion
Rejoicing in you like a child!
Dare I confess to you my sighing,
How jealously I chafe and balk
When you set forth, at times defying
Bad weather, on a lengthy walk?
And then your solitary crying,
Those twosome whispers out of sight,
Your carriage to Opochka plying,
And the piano late at night...
Aline! I ask but to be pitied,
I do not dare to plead for love;
Love, for the sins I have committed,
I am perhaps not worthy of.
But make believe! Your gaze, dear elf,
Is fit to conjure with, believe me!
Ah, it is easy to deceive me...
I long to be deceived myself!
-- Alexander Pushkin. Confession (1826).
Translation: Babette Deutsch.

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BILINGUAL PUSHKIN's SECRET JOURNAL
NOW PUBLISHED IN 24 LANGUAGES
This is the first bilingual English-Russian edition of The Secret Journal http://www.mipco.com/english/pushBiling.html.
It is intended not only for scholars of Russian language and literature, but also for English-speakers studying Russian, as well as Russian-speakers studying English. In the Russian text stressed syllables are indicated to facilitate reading.
The hero of the work, Alexander Pushkin, presents in an encapsulated form his various sexual relations, his complex thoughts on life, the nature of sin, love, and creativity, as well as the complicated path that led him to his tragic end.
The Secret Journal has incited and continues to incite the most contradictory responses.
Now translated into 24 languages, The Secret Journal deserves to be placed among the most scandalous works of Russian erotic literature.
This edition is in celebration of the twentieth anniversary of the first publication of the Secret Journal in 1986.
A. S. Pushkin Secret Journal 1836-1837 / Tainiye Zapiski, 1836-1837 A. S. Pushkina: Bilingual Edition, English-Russian (Hardcover): Retro Publishing, MA, 2006; 384 p.
USA - ISBN 0-9773864-0-6
Russia - ISBN 5-94855-042-7
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